Delete!

I'm sure that in the past three weeks, almost all of us have had a moment of disbelief and/or grief at our current situation. Our surreal reality hit me in the face this morning when I saw a headline saying that yesterday the US had the highest one-day death count of any country in this crisis. I know we have more people than Italy or Spain. I understand that the Chinese are probably not being honest. But it just hit me that over a thousand people died yesterday in my country. It seems draconian! I mean, we have some of the world's best health care available. (Whether or not it's available for all is a topic for another blog post in the future.) Shouldn't we be able to beat this disease?!

Later in the morning, after worshiping via YouTube, I looked at my calendar...and it took my breath away. Tears filled my eyes as I deleted choir from my weekly schedule for the remainder of the school year. I felt such sorrow to remove dance and acrobatics classes, knowing my children were missing their classes and their friends. The other day, our teenager met a friend (standing across the street from each other) and practiced their recital hip-hop dance, in the faint hope that there will still be a recital in May.  Schools in NM are closed for the rest of the year, and in Colorado many districts are closing, even before the governor issues an extension to the current closing.

I deleted our flights and reservations for the Boston Marathon. Our teen had made all the plans, bought tickets, and scheduled flights for this family field trip. It breaks my heart that we will not be able to make her plans come to life.

I know I'm not alone. We are all grieving what we thought our future would be. At this point, we don't have a clue how long this will last or what life will look like when this crisis is over. We aren't even sure that all our loved ones will be here on earth with us! I'm sure I'm not the only one who wishes that their parents, grown children, and siblings were all near enough to drop off groceries or play tic-tac-toe through a window. Or better yet, sharing our quarantine space!

A friend referenced Maya Angelou's poem, "Alone," this morning on social media. I looked it up, and the last stanza seemed eerily apt: 

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Oh! The truth of that! Nobody can make it out here alone!

This is a hard, hard place. A hard, hard time. A time of isolation and grief, even if we haven't lost any of our loved ones. Let yourself lament. Connect with your loved ones via technology. Look for things to do and experience that are not deleted. Use the internet to look up zoo videos (many zoos are sharing videos on YouTube or other social media to keep people connected to the animals). Go for a walk with your household. Call your grandma. Take photographs. Learn to knit or paint.

Our family is faring well. Those moments of disbelief and grief are few, so far. We are being entertained by the antics of kids and cats. We treasure your prayers and offer up ours. If you need specific prayer, please let me know! Here are some quarantine photos:

 We've celebrated one birthday in quarantine, and expect to celebrate at least one more.






Playing outside gives us vitamin D and helps with energy! I've even been working on walking the slack line.

 We have endless play...ninjas, superheroes, chasing, jumping, and more. We are also continuing homeschool lessons, much to the children's dismay!





We pray that you are doing well, also.