For example, on the piece to the left, the cross itself is not cut at right angles, and that's okay with me! Cutting glass at oblique angles is fine... but cutting the zinc at something other than a 45 degree angle is a challenge.
Enter my new design:
|$40.00, and will be created in many colors!|
So I spent days working on cutting the zinc at the correct angles for these corners. I think I have it right...but I ran out of zinc! And living in a remote area of New Mexico keeps me from "running to the glass store" to get some more. I ordered it last week, but it will be another week before it gets delivered.
So I decided to make at least one of these crosses framed in lead, just to see how it worked. It's not perfect yet, I'll tell you that! But with some practice, I can make it work. And I do love the shape of this cross. (If you love it, too, you can email me about creating one for you at firstname.lastname@example.org)
Should've been easy...
But I got careless at the end of the score and it curved a bit. Not enough to ruin the pane of glass, thank goodness, but enough that the man installing it had to adjust his glazing to cover it. And I was mad at myself. And I was mad at the person who broke the window. (And I was mad at our daughter, who was being quite oppositional yesterday.) When I snapped this photo, I was thinking about my own brokenness. That anger is such a feature of my own brokenness.
And this world is soooo broken. There is so very much pain, dysfunction, and wrong in this world. From the intoxicated folks that wander occasionally through our yard here in Dulce to the convoluted structure of our family, brokenness surrounds us. My husband wrote about how Jesus' finished work on the cross heals all brokenness. And that's true.
But what I am feeling is this huge need to fix it all. I want it all at right angles, square corners, parallel lines! I want our wee one to love homeschooling all the time. I want my husband's presence in the community (and mine, to a lesser degree) to halt the pain that leads people to alcohol. I want to be able to make mistakes without getting angry with myself. I want to make everything all Right.
And when I realize this, I realize that in these very thoughts, I am trying to be God. I am trying to take on His job instead of growing in Him within my job: parenting, teaching, being a wife and friend, and working in glass.
The brokenness of this life will not end until Jesus comes again. That's a hard truth, and it does not alleviate my responsibility to the world around me. But I have to remember that I am not God, and while I can do God's work here on earth, it is only while I let God work through me that I am contributing to God's kingdom. As John in Revelation 21 reveals, God's kingdom will be without tears, pain, and mourning.
I can't wait!