Friday, September 13, 2013
I love many parts of my current life: my family, my glass work, living in a small town again, being surrounded by the beauty of the mountains. But that's not really what makes me happy.
I think back to the most traumatic times of my life... I wouldn't describe myself as happy following my then-husband's abuse of our daughter, by any means. But even then, I knew it would eventually be okay... better than okay. Because God promises that this life is not the end. That what happens here is temporary, and He is eternal. I sought God's presence during that dark time, and found Him waiting to welcome me into his loving arms. Even as I made bad decision after bad decision and got married again too soon (and divorced again), I knew the bedrock under my feet: God.
My walk with the Lord has gotten closer and closer since those dark times. I have given up the reins almost entirely (I still fight God's leading at times!), and I have found deep and abiding happiness. Not in the circumstances of my life, but in the sure knowledge of God's love and security, Jesus' sacrifice and grace, and the Holy Spirit's guidance.
I pray that I may never be tested by such an awful situation again, but I know that pain will come in this life. I will lose those I love; relationships will be stretched and sometimes broken; and I will make mistakes that have a high cost... But I will never walk alone, and I will never remain unforgiven. That makes me happy.
The bedrock of my happiness is my faith in God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit.