Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Stasis

I am stuck. It's why I haven't written. It's why I haven't created anything new in the glass shop, other than three versions of "Become One" that were ordered or given as gifts. I am thoroughly stuck and have no answers about getting "unstuck." I keep waiting for inspiration, which doesn't usually fail me, but I'm still stuck.

Here are the ways I'm stuck:
1. I am stuck with my husband, waiting for a church call for him. He has prepared to pastor a church. He has diligently sent applications and information to many churches. He has had numerous interviews and other conversations with searching churches, including what seemed a very promising set of conversations with a church a couple of weeks ago... that we haven't heard a word from for two weeks. We have prepared in every way we can think of: Selling our house and renting with no lease; Quitting my teaching job; Homeschooling our daughter. Please do NOT hear that I am frustrated in any way by my husband; I am frustrated alongside of him.

2. I am stuck with an elbow that is causing me pain again. For about 6 or 7 months my arm had been steadily improving. I'd been swimming full-strength and getting excited about kayaking and biking this spring; then about 5 weeks ago, I started having some new pain in my elbow. After ignoring it for a couple of weeks, I made an appointment with my orthopedic doctor. I saw him last week, had x-rays and an excruciating CT scan, and was supposed to see him again this week to discuss my "options." Which, I'm assuming, will probably be surgery to remove the "bony overgrowth" evident on the x-rays. Which means, of course, NOT swimming, kayaking or biking anytime soon. Oh, and the doctor's office called today to reschedule my appointment for next week. Ugh.


3. I am stuck with an extremely temperamental six year old in home school kindergarten. She has been a PILL! We'll have one or two delightful days, then another one (or four) where I start believing she has been transformed into a tyrant of the first degree. And of course, I'd like to "fix" the situation, but I sure haven't been able to, which frustrates this teacher to no end!
I have read my devotional book(s), my Bible, and Christian blogs I follow, trying to regain peace. I have prayed, talked, ranted, and prayed some more, trying to gain some insight. And still I'm stuck.  I know Philippians 4:13 promises "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I hang on to that. I know Micah 7:7 says, "But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." I cling to that. I know my husband is a man of God, and I am blessed by his steadfast love and support.

I pray that I will soon be unstuck by God's grace and love; I can't wait to be immersed in that "peace that passes all understanding" again. I am blessed by knowing that God's peace is waiting for me.

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