What I Have Gained...

 A comment from an atheist friend really struck me; they referred to a "pretend god" and "wishful thinking" as they mentioned faith. I didn't confront them about their thoughts (we've had that conversation before), but it really got me thinking. I remember being asked by a non-Christian friend a long time ago, "Don't you see what you're missing?" They meant that my faith was keeping me from having "good" things. At the time, I strongly considered they were right. In fact, that was the beginning of my walk away from God for a couple of decades. Thankfully, God is the one who holds us together, not me. He kept his hold on me through those lost years and pulled me back to Himself over time.

What am I losing by having faith? That's what those unbelieving friends are focused on. I was losing out on having fun, on rational thought, on reality! The trap of "missing out" has led many young Christians astray, like it did me. 

Today, when I think about what I'm losing through my faith, different things come to mind. Through faith, I have lost fear, anxiety, aimlessness, anger, unforgiveness, and so much more. I remember when I first started back to church, I felt like an imposter, but God kept urging me to come back. I have gained so very much because I listened to God's call.

Far more important than I have "lost" through my faith in Jesus Christ, is what I have gained. I think the list of fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 is an incredible list of what Christians gain through faith! Indeed, I have gained love beyond all measure. From my husband, from the family that God has created for us, from fellow Christians here in Dulce and elsewhere. 

My joy surpasses all understanding. In the midst of terrible circumstances, I have maintained my Christian joy. Even when I am struggling against the depression which has followed me for most of my life, I feel joy! It's deep and free-flowing in my spirit. 

And peace. There is such peace in my life these days...perhaps I feel it greatly because my life prior to returning to faith was so very anxiety-ridden. God's peace fills my heart and mind; I rarely experience any anxiety or fear anymore. Peace is precious.

I am in great need of patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control as I raise children in my late 50s. I am a much better parent than I was in my 20s and 30s. I attribute my ability to keep my cool to God's work in my heart. Each day as school begins, I pray for patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and wisdom. These gifts from God have been consistently mine as I homeschool.

I thank God for the faith he has given me. When I wander, He pulls me back. When I feel weak in my faith, He claims me. I am blessed beyond measure.

I have "lost" nothing through faith. I have gained much! I pray that as you consider your situation in life, you see much gained by faith as well. If you do not have faith, or if you don't see the gain from faith, pray that God would open your eyes and heart to His reality. It is amazing!