No Tiara

"Well, the job doesn't come with a tiara, that's for sure!"

This was my not-so-serious answer to the question, "How do you like being a pastor's wife?"

See, I've been me much longer than I've been a pastor's wife. I've been a teacher, a mom, a volunteer in and out of church, and a homemaker for many years. I've only been a pastor's wife for two. And only in one place.

In some ways, our church is a throwback. One pastor. No secretary. A part-time custodian for the gym/classrooms, and volunteers for cleaning the sanctuary. My husband is pastor of preaching. And pastor of plumbing. And pastor of building and grounds. And pastor of volunteers and visiting and cleaning the sanctuary when there is an extra event...

I do help out in the church. Our wee one and I are taking our turn at cleaning the sanctuary this month. I plan to teach Sunday School in November. When there's a potluck, I bring our share (or a bit more).

And there are certainly times when my contribution is as great as my pastor-husband's. For example, in the past month, we have had church-related guests (some staying here, some not) three or four times. I love hosting visitors, as long as they can deal with our busy household and steep stairs. We often invite people to eat with us, and having overnight guests is a fairly frequent thing. I don't mind the laundry, cooking, or cleaning up at all...

But there's no tiara that comes with the job.

And I don't mind that at all. I'm not really a tiara kind of girl. Or middle-aged woman.

Being a pastor's wife has been a blessing, just like I thought it would be when I was eleven and shocked my mom by answering the age-old "What do you want to be when you grow up?" with "A minister's wife." Then I was told that I should be something for ME, not as an attachment to someone else, and while I believe that in many ways, I also believe that God has called me to be a pastor's wife.

It fits me. And I like it. Alongside being a homeschooling mom. My ministry may not be very visible, but that isn't what God calls us to. I love supporting my husband in his work. I love praying with the worried grandma and the grieving mother when they call the parsonage, but my husband isn't home. Providing a plate full of food for someone wandering through the yard is a ministry for me. Being a safe place for various families to drop off their children in an emergency is a ministry for me. Teaching my daughter and the young Jicarilla boy who has joined us for school this year is a huge undertaking, and very much a calling. Adding in the other two kids for Science is a blessing.

My mentor in being a pastor's wife died recently, and I miss her. I know she would read this and give me a call to encourage me. I hope that someday I can be remembered as I remember her: As a woman of God who fulfilled my calling well.

Even if it doesn't come with a tiara.