Waiting...

It seems our whole personal lives have been filled with waiting the past couple of years... But today my mind is filled with the knowledge that we Christians are all waiting on Easter. And I don't mean that we're waiting to watch our wee ones chase through the snow (at least in MN) to find Easter eggs, although that will be fun.







The whole Christian world is (or should be) waiting on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some 2000 years ago, Jesus' followers weren't waiting; they thought Jesus and his movement were done. Gone. They were grieving the loss of their teacher, friend, and companion.




Not us. We know: Sunday's comin'. Our grief on Friday is for our own part in Jesus' pain. Instead of being sad on Saturday, we can anticipate the joy of resurrection! What delight, that God loves us enough to choose such sacrifice to redeem us. We are blessed beyond measure, and this season is the heart of blessing!




And on a personal note: My husband has been invited to preach for a congregation in New Mexico on April 14th. We will visit as a family for several days prior to that date. We welcome your prayers for all concerned, that God's will would be done in this, as in all things.

Broken Bits

I recently went to the orthopedic surgeon to discuss my options regarding the pain in my elbow. This x-ray isn't actually mine, but they did take a bunch, and then I had a CT scan done. I don't think I'd ever seen CT scan images before, but they sure showed everything!

Turns out that the pains in my elbow are due to a bunch of osteophytes (bone spurs, arthritic changes, bony overgrowth) that have appeared since I broke my radius last summer. Oh, lucky me! Instead of just healing, my bones have decided to grow MORE bone.

And those really bad pains that happened sometimes? Those were when those osteophytes broke off, or when the broken pieces got smooshed in my elbow as I tried to bend and extend. Yuk!

My options? Most people have surgery to remove the osteophytes and broken bits, and are back to "normal" in about three weeks. That's not so bad. Except that I'm not in much pain right now, and haven't been for about a week. And some people (I'm sure I'd be one of the lucky ones!) take longer to heal and/or have complications. My surgeon really couldn't even tell me what the outcome would likely be without surgery because almost nobody refuses surgery.

I just don't see why I should have surgery. I'm pretty much pain-free now. (The doctor couldn't explain that, either.) It's not likely to do any damage for me to use my arm. If it gets worse, I will know (by the pain, I'm sure!). So what's the harm in waiting?

While I wait, I'm working on glass, which I couldn't be doing if I were recovering from surgery. This piece was completed yesterday. It doesn't show well in this picture because the blue/pink swirl glass is more pink with light behind it, but this has two words juxtaposed: LOVE and HOME.  I plan to make several other versions while I wait some more. I should be getting pretty good at waiting by now, eh?

Grateful

I've posted a couple of times this week, once to express my frustration with circumstances in my life, and once to share how God put things back in perspective. My heart was changed, filled with peace, and recentered on God's will and work in my life.

And, WOW! Things have shaken loose regarding life's circumstances in the past few days! My husband received an invitation to visit a New Mexico congregation and preach for them. This is usually the last step before inviting someone to accept a call to ministry. We have been in prayer specifically for this congregation for some time, feeling a pull to be involved with them; my husband's skills and personality seem a good fit with the fellowship.

Secondly, my elbow pain has diminished significantly. I attributed this to not-swimming for a few days, but even when I swam a couple of days, the pain has not returned! I still have to see the doctor tomorrow and address the bony overgrowth in the joint, but if it's not painful, perhaps I have options other than surgery.

Even homeschooling has improved in the past week. We had only one outburst in all of last week. That compares with 5-10 daily before that! I have no explanation for our daughter's positive attitude, but I am delighted with it.

And you know what I'm most grateful for???

That my attitude and thinking were corrected by God before all of these positive changes in my circumstances. That I can rest assured that the peace filling my heart is not because of the changes in my life circumstances, but because God loves me, and when I called out to Him, He answered. That brings me great joy.

I'm also thankful for the positive changes in my situation, but the greatest blessing is knowing that I am in God's loving care.

Unstuck!

That didn't take long, did it? If you read my post yesterday, you know that I have been struggling lately...feeling stuck in the muck of life. While rereading my post last night, I had many voices running through my head. Some were generic, saying things like, "Get off the pity pot, Robin!" Some were specific, like my mother's voice: "You can't think your way out of depression, you have to ACT your way out!"

One was quiet, respectful. This morning my husband handed me a devotional book that he has enjoyed in the past, saying, "If you're seeking some guidance in your faith life, this might be a good fit."

In prayer, yesterday and today, I was reminded that I am loved unconditionally by God the Father, saved without merit or work by God the Son, and filled by God the Spirit. A line from the devotional book struck me: "Remind yourself you are in God's Presence." It still takes my breath away to really think about that. Me? Yep.

But it's not about me; at least it's not supposed to be. And when I think that, I realize that it's not about fulfilling my husband's deep desire to serve God as a pastor in a church. Nor is it about whether my daughter is behaving or not. And it's certainly not about whether I get to swim, bike, or kayak...

It's about God. His plan. His will. His timing. His presence. His grace. His loving plan for our lives.

I'm not in different circumstances today, but I am in a different place. And I thank God for that, and pray that he continues to sustain me through this waiting time. Amen.

Stasis

I am stuck. It's why I haven't written. It's why I haven't created anything new in the glass shop, other than three versions of "Become One" that were ordered or given as gifts. I am thoroughly stuck and have no answers about getting "unstuck." I keep waiting for inspiration, which doesn't usually fail me, but I'm still stuck.

Here are the ways I'm stuck:
1. I am stuck with my husband, waiting for a church call for him. He has prepared to pastor a church. He has diligently sent applications and information to many churches. He has had numerous interviews and other conversations with searching churches, including what seemed a very promising set of conversations with a church a couple of weeks ago... that we haven't heard a word from for two weeks. We have prepared in every way we can think of: Selling our house and renting with no lease; Quitting my teaching job; Homeschooling our daughter. Please do NOT hear that I am frustrated in any way by my husband; I am frustrated alongside of him.

2. I am stuck with an elbow that is causing me pain again. For about 6 or 7 months my arm had been steadily improving. I'd been swimming full-strength and getting excited about kayaking and biking this spring; then about 5 weeks ago, I started having some new pain in my elbow. After ignoring it for a couple of weeks, I made an appointment with my orthopedic doctor. I saw him last week, had x-rays and an excruciating CT scan, and was supposed to see him again this week to discuss my "options." Which, I'm assuming, will probably be surgery to remove the "bony overgrowth" evident on the x-rays. Which means, of course, NOT swimming, kayaking or biking anytime soon. Oh, and the doctor's office called today to reschedule my appointment for next week. Ugh.


3. I am stuck with an extremely temperamental six year old in home school kindergarten. She has been a PILL! We'll have one or two delightful days, then another one (or four) where I start believing she has been transformed into a tyrant of the first degree. And of course, I'd like to "fix" the situation, but I sure haven't been able to, which frustrates this teacher to no end!

I have read my devotional book(s), my Bible, and Christian blogs I follow, trying to regain peace. I have prayed, talked, ranted, and prayed some more, trying to gain some insight. And still I'm stuck.  I know Philippians 4:13 promises "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I hang on to that. I know Micah 7:7 says, "But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." I cling to that. I know my husband is a man of God, and I am blessed by his steadfast love and support.

I pray that I will soon be unstuck by God's grace and love; I can't wait to be immersed in that "peace that passes all understanding" again. I am blessed by knowing that God's peace is waiting for me.

A Missing Piece

I've been working on this piece for a couple of months now. It's the first artistic piece I've designed since my broken elbow; it took a slow path to completion for several reasons: I got pneumonia; it was very cold in my shop; I had several repairs that were "ahead" of it in the schedule; and it was hard.

It's not an easy design in the first place--lots of little pieces and intricate welds. But I made it infinitely harder on myself when I put it together because I left out a piece.

I actually had the piece placed in the tail, but when I continued to build, the piece broke. I pulled it out, traced around it, and glued the pattern to another piece of glass. I put that glass on my cutting table, figuring I would cut and replace it the next time I came into my shop.

And then I got pneumonia...

And by the time I returned to my shop, I'd forgotten that I was supposed to cut out and insert the tail feather piece before finishing the rest of the building process. I had the toughest time getting the glass to fit together! It was frustrating!  (Of course it was...I had left out a piece!)

I finally soldered it together the best I could, which looks pretty good in the picture above, but when you look closely...

You can see a pretty good gap. The picture to the left shows it, sort of. In real life, it's quite obvious! There's a 2mm gap between the beak piece and the sky piece. There are a couple of other small gaps, too, but those could be dealt with in the glazing process.

Not this one. I will have to add this panel to the small pile of  "so bad nobody wants them" pieces I have. And I will start over on this panel. I like the design, although I may simplify it a bit because I broke several small pieces in the process of building it.

Live and Learn, Right?


And Oh Boy, did that concept hit home while reading my devotional yesterday. I am still reading Alec Motyer's Isaiah by the Day: A New Devotional Translation. I am finding all kinds of good things in his book. I like Motyer's explanations of his translation choices. I am deepening my understanding of Isaiah's beautiful words.

But yesterday, I realized that I had been missing something in all my reading in Isaiah! I have read Isaiah in many translations and multiple times, but I never realized something about Cyrus.

Cyrus?  Who's Cyrus?!  That's what I would've said until yesterday. He seemed to me a bit part, a ruler in the Persian Empire who took over all of Mesopotamia in 500-something BC. He ended up being a bit of a "good guy" for the Hebrews, as he allowed them to rebuild the temple and return home. Even that doesn't seem so outstanding, though.

The part that literally brought me to my knees was in Alec Motyer's "Thought for the Day: Isaiah 44:24-45:7." He tells us that Isaiah's words about Cyrus coming were given 150 years before Cyrus conquered the Babylonians. Now, fortune-telling isn't what the prophets were about, I know that. But isn't that amazing????  Isaiah spoke God's word and named this man. Then God brought it to fruition 150 years later. For me, this was a "missing piece" in my understanding of God's word. In my understanding of the power of the Word.

GOD is the power here. I know that. I feel that. I believe that. But I found a new way today to comprehend our GOD's power to create, sustain, and direct everything for His plan!  I am so amazed that He gave us Isaiah and his words 150 years earlier for such a clear example of His sovereignty!

Isaiah's words in 45:6-7 declare: "It is in order that from where the sun rises to where it sets they may know that there is nothing besides me--I, Yahweh, and no other! Shaping light and creating darkness, making prosperity, and creating calamity-- I, Yahweh, doing all these things!"

Sometimes those "little" missing pieces can impact our "whole" mightily! I am grateful for God's claim on my thoughts today:

"I, Yahweh, and no other!"

Amen.

Plans

 We all make plans, all the time. If we don't have some plans, our lives go nowhere, or at least not where we would like. Without plans, my glass work would be chaos!

But, as Christians, we deeply know what Proverbs 16:9 says: "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." When we lean into the Lord with our entire lives, our plans are in accordance with His will, and He brings our plans to fruition.

But what about a (seemingly) good plan, a prayed-about plan, a plan to serve... Isn't that what God calls us to???

Yes. But God doesn't promise to fulfill all of our plans, even our good ones. He promises to fulfill all of His plans; and He promises that all of His plans are perfect! And God knows every one of our days, before we're even born (Psalm 139:16)... the good ones, the bad ones, and all the rest.

Sometimes, we work toward something that seems worthy and good... But God's plans don't included this particular thing. I have glass pieces like that: I've started (or even finished) them, and they just don't look good. Not worth framing for some reason.

Our family has worked toward moving one grandparent to our home. We prayed and felt peace with our decision to share our home. Expanding our family seemed good and right.

But it's not in God's plan. We received a call yesterday that this grandparent was going into a different care situation. We had all preparations made in our home. We had support services in place. It all seemed so right...

Our first reaction to the change was disappointment. A grief of not being able to share this beloved grandparent's remaining time. But slowly, as we talked and explored our newly-changed future, we realized that there were many positives in this new situation. That God's plan was, indeed, better than ours.

We look forward to walking the days that God has provided for us. His plans are perfect, and it's exciting to move forward into more days, leaning into God for all our needs.

Happy New Year.