Anchored

This is my design for Father's Day this year. It is called "Anchored" and is 8x8 inches, framed in zinc, and has rings soldered on for hanging purposes. You can order one on my Facebook page, A Glimpse of Grace, or you can email me at agoginglass@yahoo.com. They are $35.00, plus tax and shipping (if needed).

This is one of those designs which came to me in its entirety, complete. I was actually trying to design a piece for Mother's Day when I woke up one night with this design in my head. I love how it turned out! I struggled in taking photos of "Anchored" because the cross just didn't show up well. With or without a flash, the glass just didn't photograph clearly. When you combine the two shots I've posted here, you can begin to sense how the piece looks.

The obvious question is: Does OUR anchor show in our lives?  That's a good question, and deserves to be answered. But I think the more basic question is essential: WHAT are we anchored in?

What is it that holds me firmly in place? What keeps me solidly connected? What keeps me from drifting away? It's NOT the cross I wear around my neck, or the bumper sticker that I see on lots of cars. It's not saying I belong to a church congregation or even attending church regularly. Some of these things might indicate I am anchored; some of these might actually help me stay anchored.

I think what anchors us in our Christian life are the disciplines of being Christian. Disciplines that I'm not always very good at. Things like: Reading the Bible; Praying for Enlightenment; Practicing Devotions; Praying for Others; Worshiping; Praising God; Praying.

I find that I am most anchored when I habitually practice the disciplines of a Christian life. I might not experience instantaneous intimacy with God each time I pray, praise, or worship, but if I make these things habits of life, my walk with God becomes more intimate over time. Sometimes God surprises me with a moment of closeness in the glory of His natural world or a masterpiece of art or music, and I love that! But building a relationship with God takes time and attention, just like building a relationship with anyone.

When I find myself drifting away on the sea of life, I rededicate myself to prayer, worship, reading the Bible, praise and devotional practices. Soon I am anchored anew by God's grace and love. It's a good place to be.

Lost and Found

Today we sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" in church. This song was pivotal in my life, believe it or not! I was very involved in my church as a high school student; faith was part of my very being. For many reasons, and like many college students, I fell away from church involvement as a college student. This was the beginning of many years of being lost to the faith of my youth.

"To Every Thing" seems an appropriate piece to feature here as I discuss the  seasons of my faith. 

It is displayed at the Little Swan Lake Winery in NW Iowa.

That lost time was ruled by fears, instead of faith. I spent some time totally away from religion, then tried to find a church that was inclusive enough that my agnostic (atheistic?) husband would attend. After several years in a Unitarian Universalist Society congregation (full of great people, btw!), I really felt the pull of the church of my childhood: Disciples of Christ.

It seemed to me that I was totally out of place in a Christian church, but that's where I wanted to be. I didn't take communion, fearing that my faith was not enough and God would be offended. There were songs I wouldn't sing because I just wasn't sure I believed them. I felt led to attend every week, and I did, but I always doubted that my faith was up to par. Then one day, we sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and it hit me like a ton of bricks: The song's title was "Great is THY Faithfulness," not "Great is MY Faithfulness!" It wasn't up to ME to be faithful enough; Faithfulness was GOD'S job.

Since then, I've continually been found, instead of lost. God has found me; He has pursued me; He has captured me with His grace. He has taken away my fears and filled me with love and grace and joy. All my efforts through those years left me still fearful and anxious and uncertain; now God's grace has filled my life to overflowing!

This is not to say I don't have moments of doubt or uncertainty. I do. But today, when we sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" I remembered upon whose faith I depend. I can make a lengthy list of what God's faithfulness has provided me: Peace, which surpasses all understanding; Love, which surrounds me and fills my spirit; Joy, which follows me as closely as a tag-along five-year-old; Beauty, which God has gifted me to make in my glass work; and so much more. I am blessed beyond measure in this season of my life, and I am absolutely convinced that this season is a season of eternity. Thank God!

Necessary Losses

The first thing I have to say today is that I "stole" the title for this blog entry from Judith Viorst, who wrote a book with this title. I have read the book, and I would recommend it to those struggling with grief of any kind.

I've had my share of grief in my life, just like everyone else. Infertility has marked my life. Divorces have punctuated my days. Death has visited. Betrayal made its home in my home for many years. And still I stand, as do you. I stand by the grace of God, unscarred by the events above, but not unchanged. And life continues to bring grief, as it will until God's Kingdom comes.

My family moved last week, an event that sometimes creates grief. We moved from the home we have shared since before our youngest child came to us through adoption. It was our family home. We sold it in an act of faith, trusting that God will call my husband to a church as a pastor. We are now living in a rental home, which suits our needs just fine.

One of the things we left behind in the move was an octagonal glass piece in our front bathroom window. Someone asked me if this bothered me. I replied that I have left glass pieces installed in the last three homes I lived in, and my family members have done so as well. They were all pieces I liked and that looked good in the windows. As far as I know, they are all still present in those homes.

Does this bother me? I consider the question today as I unpack more boxes and settle in a little more. And no, it doesn't. I think of the pieces left behind as blessings for the next owner of the home. Perhaps they will see a glimpse of God in them. A little grace for their own lives.

I doubt I will craft a glass piece to remain in our rental home, although it's a possibility! More likely, I will design and create a piece for the parsonage we move to, with God's grace, eventually. Either way, the glass I leave behind will not be mourned, but left with expectation of creating joy for the next occupants. 

Bright Shadows

Tonight at dinner, my five-year-old says (out of the blue, as usual!), "The shadows are really bright tonight!" I'd never thought of shadows being bright, just dark, but it struck me as a wonderful understanding of my work in glass. When I choose a color and type of glass to be a "shadow" in a glass design, the light comes through it just as brightly as the next piece. It just shows up differently on the other side.

Isn't that Good Friday? It's a bright shadow! On Good Friday, we are in remembrance of a dark time, so dark that God even took away the SUN for part of it. But hidden behind the darkness, an AMAZING light is shining through because "Sunday's coming!"

In the space between Good Friday and Easter Morning, Jesus' friends, family, and disciples mourned. They grieved the loss of their friend, and of their dream: Jesus ruling as King here on Earth. They didn't know that the shadow they were in, was in the impossibly bright light of Resurrection Coming.

But we do! We remember Good Friday and the sacrifice Jesus made for us. But we remember it knowing full well that Resurrection follows agony. I find myself tingling with the anticipation of celebrating the Resurrection tomorrow morning.  I pray that you find yourself rejoicing in the promise of forgiveness and grace, of brightness and glory, because "Sunday's coming!"  And I pray that my young child can perceive some of the true reason for Easter behind the Easter Egg Hunt, the Easter Basket, and the excitement of pancakes at church.

Happy Easter!!

Black and White

I have been ruminating on the killing of Treyvon Martin for several weeks now. I'm sure lots of people have been. It's incredibly personal to me. You see, I'm the mother of a young Black man.

My first two children are biracial, African American/White. They are in their mid-twenties now and on their own, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about them. Especially my son. As a young Black man, he is in a high risk category. The same category as Treyvon Martin.

I remember teaching my son to drive. The most important lesson wasn't how to shift gears or brake safely on ice; the most important lesson was "What to do when you are stopped by the police." Like... Keep your hands in plain sight and STILL. And... Say "Yes, Sir" or "No, Ma'am" and THAT'S IT. No smart mouth! I must have taught him well because he's been stopped many times, and he's still alive.

I've been thinking a lot about White Privilege since Treyvon Martin's murder. How so many White people truly believe that things have changed. And about how my two adult children experience life so differently from what I did as a young White adult. How the issues of Black and White are anything but black and white.

And then...
A realization that should've been blatant to me, but was shocking in its ability to hide: I have basked in White Privilege ever since I became a parent to my youngest child. She is five years old, and she looks White. She is actually of mixed races, but she looks White, which in America still means she's White.

Which means she "fits" me, to the outside world. Which means WE, as a family, are privileged to: 1) Live where we want without comment; 2) Attend events with no sideways glances from either White or Black people; 3) Never be questioned about whether she's "really mine;" 4) Let her look at the Disney Princesses while I shop for a camera at Target (within sight, but I never would've done that with my first two children); and 5) Many more things that I haven't thought of yet, I'm sure.

And the thought of living inside White Privilege hadn't even crossed my mind until Treyvon Martin's killing. Not even a whisper of it. That's how insidious White Privilege is. It's just "normal." Doesn't everyone think, live, act like that? If not, THEY must have a problem.

THEIR problem is that WE are so blind to the institutional prejudices in our society, to the habits of thought and behavior that are considered so normal that we don't even notice them.

If you want to know whether discrimination and prejudice are gone from our society, ASK. Then LISTEN. Ask more than one person. Read some of the blogs and articles written after Treyvon Martin's murder.  ASK my son what it's like to shop at the mall as a young Black man; I'll bet it's different from your experiences. ASK my daughter how many times she's been pulled over for DWB. Ask every mother of a young Black man what worries them.

Just ASK.
Just LISTEN.
Then trust that the truth is more complicated than a life lived inside White Privilege.

I think the reality of the world is NOT black and white; it's FULL-COLOR. Like glass. Each type of glass, each shading and pattern, is unique.

Like each person. That's the beauty of it.

Moving Day

Me, in front of the door to my new studio

 For those of you who don't know, my family is moving. I have moved many times in my life, so the process is familiar, but this move is different in many ways.

 First, contrary to what most people do, we have sold our lovely, suburban home to move into a much older (built in 1890!) rental home. Some of our friends and family think we're a bit looney for doing so. We truly have had a gorgeous home in a quiet neighborhood with wonderful neighbors. My husband has lived here for 19 years, and I have lived here for the past 4 1/2 years, since our marriage.

Second, we are only moving 2 miles away, so it's not like we're relocating for new jobs or anything. I will continue as a homeschooling mom and stained glass artist, and my husband will continue working at the Mayo Clinic.

Our daughter, checking out the barn next to the studio

So what is our plan? Why are we moving? Why am I leaving a world-class glass studio in my home for a somewhat makeshift studio in an outbuilding on an old farmstead within the city limits?

Because God has called us. Specifically, He has called my husband to the ministry. Before we even met, my husband began a distance program to obtain his Master of Divinity. He has spent most of the past six years as a theology student, and has spent the last few months actively searching for a church call.

And we wait.

We have prayed that we can be faithful and patient while we wait. We have done lots of things to facilitate the anticipated change in career, including my resigning my teaching job. 

A few months ago, we decided that we should put our house on the market because it might take a while to sell it. We had a good back-up plan (renting the farmstead). In November, after much clearing out and cleaning up, we put the house on the market... and almost nobody came to see it! We had an opportunity to take it off the market for the holiday season, so we did.

In February, we listed it again and it sold in five days. Good thing we had our back-up plan! I started packing in earnest and tried to figure out how I could do my glass work without my studio. It turns out that the farmstead has an outbuilding that is finished inside, with upgraded electric service. Perfect for my studio!

So, I've moved about 500 pounds of glass, myriad glass tools, a ton (seemingly, anyway!) of lead came, and my cupboards and counters into a non-heated, non-air-conditioned, somewhat musty, but usable space. I have one more load of materials to transport, and then I have to get things set up again so I can work. Maybe this week!

And our family waits to move the household goods until April 9th, when the renovations on the bathroom and flooring in the farmhouse will be done (hopefully, anyway!). Living between two places is a small challenge, and we are looking forward to playing in the 4+ acres of lawn, field, and trees this summer.

But most of all, we wait for God's call to come. Sometimes impatiently (me, at least). And we trust that He will continue to grow us in faith and service while we wait.

Brittle Glass

I love glass that cuts easily! It's just so nice to hear the satisfying screech of the cutter on the glass, see the cracking glass under the score before I even apply pressure, and to feel the glass give way exactly on the score. Ahh......

Sometimes the glass is more of a challenge, and I have to get out my specialty pliers that apply even pressure on both top and bottom of the glass. Crack! The glass can still bring the satisfaction of a perfect break. Sometimes, I have to get my flat pliers (with no ridges to mar the glass) and my spring-loaded pliers, and use both of them to pry the glass apart.

And then there's the brittle glass.

There is some glass that breaks wrong almost every time. It is often of inconsistent texture and/or quality. It's sometimes incredibly thick for stained glass use. It breaks irregularly and with difficulty... And, of course, it's some of the most beautiful glass around.

I love how brittle glass looks, but shaping it into what I need for an art piece is difficult, sometimes impossible. I wonder how many of us are like that to God? We might look good; we might even look like good Christians, but are we amenable to God's shaping? 

I would love to say that I'm one of the obedient glass types that is easy to cut, but if I'm honest, it's taken a lifetime of chiseling away at my rough edges to make me even slightly similar to God's plan for me. 

In the past few years, I have discovered one prayer that has opened my life to God's changes. I now frequently ask God to change what I want instead of asking God to change my circumstances. I find myself changing in ways that surprise me. I hope the changes please God, and I will continue to pray that God shapes my desires in ways that delight Him.

"Become One"