And.

Our society dictates that we are either supporters of the police OR of Black Lives Matter. We are either Christians-who-support-Trump OR not-really-Christians. We either support public education or the willful dismantling of public education. We either wholeheartedly support Critical Race Theory or we think it's the devil's work. We either revere the American flag or despise it.

Ugh. I hate this dichotomy. I'm an "AND" person. 

I mourn deeply with the families and friends of the slain officers in North Carolina. Their deaths, along with other law enforcement personnel. are tragic. They were doing their jobs and sacrificed their lives.

AND

I mourn deeply with the families and friends of Ma'Khia Bryant. Her death was a tragic loss as well. I believe that policing has deep roots in race and class that need to be examined. I don't hate every law enforcement officer who has to use their gun, but I do believe that we should urgently examine the disparities in how race, class, and culture are viewed and treated by law enforcement officers. I believe that we need to hold law enforcement accountable when they behave like Derek Chauvin. 

I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. 

AND

I believe that Jesus gave us clear "marching orders." We are to love God with all our being. And we are to love others as we love ourselves. I don't believe that we can say we are Christian and discount another's humanity or worth, whether that person agrees with us politically or not. Hate is not God's way. 

I believe that public education is essential to a democracy. I believe that an educated populace is vital to a democracy. If we pull the public money away from public education, we are setting up a tiered system that will not serve our society.

AND 

I believe that private education and home education are vital parts of society. I believe that parents who have the time, ability, and desire to homeschool or private school their children should be allowed to do so. I also believe that the public schools should be held accountable for educating children, not indoctrinating them. Belief systems belong to families; public schools should educate. I believe that local parents and the local public should have some control over what is taught. The federal government should mostly stay out of local education systems.

I think that the American flag is an important symbol of our country, and I love our country. I don't like to see the flag desecrated.

AND

I believe in the rights of every person in this country to express their thoughts and feelings. The Supreme Court upheld the right of people to desecrate the flag as a form of protected speech in 1989. I certainly think that if people are legally allowed to burn the flag, they are also allowed to "take a knee" during the raising of the flag and the singing of the national anthem. Our country is not, and has not been, a place where freedom reigns for all citizens. I cannot speak to Black people's experiences, but I can listen to them speak about their experiences. Through listening, I am convinced that even in 2021 many injustices exist. 

There are many more issues which create a false dichotomy in today's American society. I urge you to avoid the false dichotomy. I urge you to think critically and develop your opinions from information on "both sides." Where your beliefs end up is your business, but the unthinking opinion is not a helpful one. We are Americans, and we value individualism AND our collective society. We look for common ground, compromise, and practicality. We work with each other for the best of our democracy. Think for yourself and develop your own opinions.

Racism is a Lie.

Racism is a lie. It is the lie that Black people (And really, all BIPOC) are inferior. Racism is the lie that Black people are less intelligent, less capable, less committed, less accomplished. Racism is the lie that Black people are more violent, scarier, more angry and more likely to react negatively. 

Racism is the lie that White America is the norm to which all people should be compared. That somehow "tradition" places the prize on the White Americans of the past and the present. That Black people are "making progress" as they become more White-normed. Once Black people are "just like Whites" they will be viewed as complete and good. Racism is the lie that they are not as good right this instant.

There are certainly outright racists in our society. And many are police officers. But not ALL police officers are self-acknowledged white supremacists. Many would just as easily help out a Black person in trouble as a White person in trouble. So many white people hide behind the "**I'm** not a racist" card. Individually, we may not hold conscious beliefs in our superiority, but we need to face the fact that our society holds systemic racism. Our willful ignorance of that fact creates situations where 12-year-old Black boys are killed for wearing a hoodie and Black men are murdered on the pavement by those who are supposed to protect us all.

We don't know all the facts regarding the death of Daunte Wright. We do know another Black man was killed by another police officer. I'm sure we will hear all sorts of things about the incident over the next days, weeks, months, and years. But I call on you to examine the lie. Spend some time reflecting on your reaction to a Black man entering an elevator with you. Think about what you picture when you're asked to describe a "welfare mom." We have all been exposed to the lie that is racism. What have you internalized? 

Black people are good people. They are intelligent. Hard-working. Successful. They love their families and make strong commitments to them. Black people are good people. They care for their communities. They dedicate themselves to improving the lot of their neighbors. Black people are good people. They achieve excellence in every field. They are doctors, lawyers, dancers, teachers, astronauts and so much more. 

How does the paragraph above sit with you? Do you find yourself countering the statements? Can you give any information about Blacks in history? Beyond MLK? How about Madame CJ Walker? Do you know about Black Wall Street? The laws which routed and continue to route public infrastructure through Black and brown communities, taking generational wealth from persons of color? 

Black people are good people. 

Racism is the lie that Black people are inferior. 

Where did this lie come from? From the need of white kidnappers to justify the abduction of thousands of Black people living their best lives in Africa. From the need of white slaveholders to justify the enslavement of human beings, the selling of children, and the systemic rape of women. 

Racism is the lie that Black people are inferior. Confront that lie inside yourself. Look for Black Excellence. Join a Facebook group that spreads the news of Black Excellence. Read Black history. Go to Black cultural events. If you look, you will find Black Excellence. It is all around us.

Racism is the lie that Black people are inferior. Racism is the lie that in order to be equal, Blacks must meet the White norm. Black people have been equal all along; it's just the White people who haven't recognized it.

A. Year.

A year. A year of quarantine. A year of pandemic. A year of staying home. A year of family, but not extended family. A year of online school for our teen. A year of homeschool for me and the little guys. (Well, that wasn't different! Homeschooling has been happening in our home for years.)

This was. A. Year. Strangest I've ever had, for sure! The past 12 months have been different in many ways. We could all list many things we've disliked: masks, chapped hands, social distancing...

But this was also a GOOD year. Yes, I'm serious. 

Each of us has had one COVID-birthday. Our middle dude is on the verge of a second one, but we're hoping that the tribe lifts some restrictions so we can invite people for an outside party. And this year we started some new birthday traditions: The birthday person gets a personal cake in addition to a family cake; and I've learned how to make an ice cream cake. 

We worshipped at home. The five of us and all three of our cats. We huddled together around my computer, sang worship and praise, and listened to the weekly sermon my husband posted on YouTube. We were able to pause and answer questions, which grew our faith.

We got outside. Not as much as we usually do, but we got out to hike and kayak several times. We wore masks when we were near people, but mostly were able to go maskless because we were isolated from others. It was a joy~reminded me of why outdoor activities are so welcome in my life.

We made a million memories! When the fireworks were cancelled, we made our own with eggshells filled with paint. If you throw them at things (boxes! We threw them at boxes!), the splatter looks like fireworks. When Little Beaver Celebration was cancelled, we made our own carnival, rides and all! Our teenager planned monthly "sleepovers" with the boys in the living room. She planned the treats, the movies, the decorations...all on a theme each time! We even made a haunted house for Halloween! And the kids made pinata pumpkins which we filled with candy and broke on Halloween.

We had a New Year's Eve party, complete with a photo booth. We, like everyone, hoped that 2021 would be a year of joy. January brought political unrest nationwide, but peace and hope here at home. February brought vaccines to our community, our state, and our arms! 

Almost exactly a year after we began to social distance, we are fully vaccinated. We are grateful for the possibilities that brings. And we're also grateful for the home-centered-year that we've had. Re-entering the "rat race" will bring different joys, but we'll always have the memories of that year. Because it's been A. Year.

God Glue

 

A dear Christian friend told me recently that I was living in fear because I was practicing social distancing and wearing a mask. I responded that I'm not afraid, instead I have compassion on the medical systems and their employees. I want to be sure not to add to the burden they are carrying through this pandemic. I also remain careful because we live among the Jicarilla Apache people, and the Indigenous people of our continent have suffered immense losses due to diseases in the past and present. I will not be responsible for the spread of this disease here on the reservation!

After our conversation, I was musing about how I felt about catching the coronavirus... and about dying. I realized I have very little fear of dying, but I do have concerns about my family. My exact thought was, "I'm the glue that holds this family together." As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I corrected myself. I should not be the glue that holds this family together. God should be.

I'm important in our family, for sure. I'm the one teaching the kids. I'm the one that cooks and cleans (by choice, not by default or pressure!). Brad is important in our family, too. He's the one that makes actual money. He's the one that leads our worship and devotions. But neither of us are what holds our family together.

God holds our family. He holds our family together. He leads us in every part of our lives. God Glue is the important factor. 

And I started thinking of ways that we live out what I believe: God's got this. HE is in charge and HE has a wonderful plan for all of our lives. No matter what happens, God will be with each one of us. We are never alone. Never without resources. Never without hope. 

So what do I do with this important fact that I want my children to live by?

1) Tell them! Our kids sometimes ask us what would happen to them if we both died. We always tell them that God has a plan for them. We say that we don't know what the plan is, but God does! He will provide for them in every circumstance. Eternally! (We also have some concrete things in place that the kids know about.)

2) Live this knowledge! We live like God has a plan for us! People ask when we're going to retire, and we say, "God is in charge. When He gives us the signal that we should retire, we will. When the kids ask where we're going to live after Papa retires, we say, "The blue house in Pagosa (which we own at this point), if that's what God wants." We adults have to show our own trust in God's plans so our children see our faith.

3) Talk about God's part in your family. When someone is mean, we ask if that is how God wants us to behave. When someone destroys somebody's something, we talk about how God wants us to treat each other. When we watch a movie, we talk about how the characters are/aren't listening for God's Will. In our read-aloud books, we discuss how the characters are walking in God's way (or are not). 

So I repeat: I am not living in fear. And I am not the glue of our family. Our family would go on fine without me... because God is our glue. And that never ends. Never dies. Never fades away. 

Amen.

A To-Be List for 2021

 I can't imagine anyone saying that 2020 was their best year yet. It has been a year of challenge for the entire world. I'm looking forward to 2021, and I have been thinking about all the things I want to do: visit my parents and grandchildren, meet up with friends, get the vaccine, use those airplane tickets that are on hold...I've got a long list.

This week, though, in several places and manners, I have read about and thought about something different. The question shouldn't really be "What am I going to do in 2021?" but rather, "Who am I going to be in 2021?" 

Profoundly different. Vastly more important. And worth asking.

Who do I want to be? 

I want to be God's woman, first and foremost. I want to live my life as belonging to God. This fact anchors the rest of who I want to be.

I want to be a godly wife. I want to love my husband in ways that please God. This does not mean that I am subservient or somehow a second-rate citizen. I am so loved by God that I am inspired and enabled to love my husband with similar commitment as God's love for me. 

I want to be a godly mother and teacher. I want to love my children with grace. I want to hold them accountable and still teach them God's grace. I want to guide them with love, and I want to show them God's glory. 

I want to be a loving friend and daughter. Relationships are precious. I want to be the kind of daughter and friend who is there when times are tough, and is there to celebrate joyous occasions. 

I want to be a contributing citizen of the community. I want to be an asset, not a deficit. I want to contribute positively in my home, neighborhood, town, state, country, and world. I want to make this a better place for all of us.

I want to be me. God created me to be me, not a copy of someone else. I have no aspirations to be someone else, just a better me. 

Who do you want to be in 2021?

It's worth thinking and praying about.

We Do Not Lose Heart

 2020 has been a year of losses. In Dulce today, we are feeling this sharply and acutely. Those losses are real, painful, and bring much sorrow. Across the world, people are mourning the loss of loved ones. Even people who have not lost someone in their inner circle are feeling the communal loss of over 1.5 million souls. 

In addition to the loss of life, we are all feeling the loss of our loved ones' presence. It's hard to go so long without hugging our grown children, our parents, our siblings. It's difficult to accept a lonely Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's sad to chat with friends from six feet away, with masks, when we long to hug and be hugged.

The deprivation of our routine and pleasurable experiences (visiting, shopping, eating out, etc) is another grief. Many of us have not eaten in a restaurant for almost a year. We have not set foot in a retail space (other than groceries) since March. Maybe not as intense as the loss of relationship, this definitely does cause heartache.

Our family has not had deep financial hardship, but some families have. Losing a job can cause despair. Losing a business is calamitous. There are so many victims of this pandemic, we cannot count them all. And they hurt. These losses ache in our souls.

In a world and a heart filled with grief, this morning I read 2 Corinthians 4. Verse 8 resounded in my weary heart: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." In verse 16, it says, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

We do not lose heart grabbed my attention. It's not a command; it is a statement of fact. We do not lose heart. Christians, we grieve. We feel the losses of the pandemic and other calamities. It all hurts! But we do not lose heart. We cling to the truths of Jesus: We are loved. We are forgiven. We are held. This world is not our home. All sadness and hurt will end. Jesus will wipe away every tear that we hold. Every sorrow will be gone.

For all those grieving today. Turn toward Him. Grab the promises. Remember that you are not alone. Fix your eyes on Jesus. 

Amen and amen.

Galatians 1:24

 My husband is preaching through Galatians right now. In preparation for a recent sermon, I read the section of Scripture he was going to address (Galatians 11-24). It is basically Paul giving his credentials as an apostle, assuring the church in Galatia that the gospel Paul preached to them was the one directly from Jesus Christ. The final verse, though, grabbed my eye: "And they praised God because of me." 

Paul's life has certainly led to many people to praise God. Paul's testimony is bold and clear throughout
the New Testament. His words cause me to pause and ponder often. I think his statement is not boasting, but rather, the truth. 

Wouldn't that be a nice legacy? They praised God because of me. Not because I'm so important, but because God's work is so important. I would like to be the kind of Christian that causes people to praise God. But a few verses (Galatians 1:10b) before this one, Paul also says, "If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." So we can't plan our Christian service around making people praise God because of us. 

We can't plan our Christian service around anything because of us. This is God's work. We are only a small piece of God's plan, and we are to follow Christ, not lead. So we do the mundane tasks God has put before us, praising God as we go. 

For me, this is laundry and cooking and teaching young minds. It's keeping in touch with people. It's sharing food with neighbors and strangers. It's praying for my children, grandchildren, parents, other people's children, and more. 

Sometimes, it doesn't feel like much. It's certainly not going to inspire many to praise God because of me. BUT (and it's a big "but") this is what God has called me to. It is my calling. My job. Whether any human appreciates it or not. 

And, as Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, the burden is light. I love it! Sure, there are moments when I wish the laundry would end or that nobody needed me right then, but God has prepared me well for the task of raising and teaching children. He has moved in my life in ways that have built my skills for this. 

Who am I to say that the work to which God has called me is unimportant? It is vital , or He would not have called me to it. It is my work, for Him. I pray that I can do it well so that someday I will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Do not doubt that your call from God is worthy. No matter what He has called you to, it is your work for Him. Treasure the opportunity to serve Him! Do your very best, and when you can't do your best, ask God to strengthen you; He will. Keep at it, and when you don't have the energy to do that, ask God to renew your strength. Isaiah 40:31 says He will. You can trust that!

Amen and amen.