A To-Be List for 2021

 I can't imagine anyone saying that 2020 was their best year yet. It has been a year of challenge for the entire world. I'm looking forward to 2021, and I have been thinking about all the things I want to do: visit my parents and grandchildren, meet up with friends, get the vaccine, use those airplane tickets that are on hold...I've got a long list.

This week, though, in several places and manners, I have read about and thought about something different. The question shouldn't really be "What am I going to do in 2021?" but rather, "Who am I going to be in 2021?" 

Profoundly different. Vastly more important. And worth asking.

Who do I want to be? 

I want to be God's woman, first and foremost. I want to live my life as belonging to God. This fact anchors the rest of who I want to be.

I want to be a godly wife. I want to love my husband in ways that please God. This does not mean that I am subservient or somehow a second-rate citizen. I am so loved by God that I am inspired and enabled to love my husband with similar commitment as God's love for me. 

I want to be a godly mother and teacher. I want to love my children with grace. I want to hold them accountable and still teach them God's grace. I want to guide them with love, and I want to show them God's glory. 

I want to be a loving friend and daughter. Relationships are precious. I want to be the kind of daughter and friend who is there when times are tough, and is there to celebrate joyous occasions. 

I want to be a contributing citizen of the community. I want to be an asset, not a deficit. I want to contribute positively in my home, neighborhood, town, state, country, and world. I want to make this a better place for all of us.

I want to be me. God created me to be me, not a copy of someone else. I have no aspirations to be someone else, just a better me. 

Who do you want to be in 2021?

It's worth thinking and praying about.

We Do Not Lose Heart

 2020 has been a year of losses. In Dulce today, we are feeling this sharply and acutely. Those losses are real, painful, and bring much sorrow. Across the world, people are mourning the loss of loved ones. Even people who have not lost someone in their inner circle are feeling the communal loss of over 1.5 million souls. 

In addition to the loss of life, we are all feeling the loss of our loved ones' presence. It's hard to go so long without hugging our grown children, our parents, our siblings. It's difficult to accept a lonely Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's sad to chat with friends from six feet away, with masks, when we long to hug and be hugged.

The deprivation of our routine and pleasurable experiences (visiting, shopping, eating out, etc) is another grief. Many of us have not eaten in a restaurant for almost a year. We have not set foot in a retail space (other than groceries) since March. Maybe not as intense as the loss of relationship, this definitely does cause heartache.

Our family has not had deep financial hardship, but some families have. Losing a job can cause despair. Losing a business is calamitous. There are so many victims of this pandemic, we cannot count them all. And they hurt. These losses ache in our souls.

In a world and a heart filled with grief, this morning I read 2 Corinthians 4. Verse 8 resounded in my weary heart: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." In verse 16, it says, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

We do not lose heart grabbed my attention. It's not a command; it is a statement of fact. We do not lose heart. Christians, we grieve. We feel the losses of the pandemic and other calamities. It all hurts! But we do not lose heart. We cling to the truths of Jesus: We are loved. We are forgiven. We are held. This world is not our home. All sadness and hurt will end. Jesus will wipe away every tear that we hold. Every sorrow will be gone.

For all those grieving today. Turn toward Him. Grab the promises. Remember that you are not alone. Fix your eyes on Jesus. 

Amen and amen.

Galatians 1:24

 My husband is preaching through Galatians right now. In preparation for a recent sermon, I read the section of Scripture he was going to address (Galatians 11-24). It is basically Paul giving his credentials as an apostle, assuring the church in Galatia that the gospel Paul preached to them was the one directly from Jesus Christ. The final verse, though, grabbed my eye: "And they praised God because of me." 

Paul's life has certainly led to many people to praise God. Paul's testimony is bold and clear throughout
the New Testament. His words cause me to pause and ponder often. I think his statement is not boasting, but rather, the truth. 

Wouldn't that be a nice legacy? They praised God because of me. Not because I'm so important, but because God's work is so important. I would like to be the kind of Christian that causes people to praise God. But a few verses (Galatians 1:10b) before this one, Paul also says, "If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." So we can't plan our Christian service around making people praise God because of us. 

We can't plan our Christian service around anything because of us. This is God's work. We are only a small piece of God's plan, and we are to follow Christ, not lead. So we do the mundane tasks God has put before us, praising God as we go. 

For me, this is laundry and cooking and teaching young minds. It's keeping in touch with people. It's sharing food with neighbors and strangers. It's praying for my children, grandchildren, parents, other people's children, and more. 

Sometimes, it doesn't feel like much. It's certainly not going to inspire many to praise God because of me. BUT (and it's a big "but") this is what God has called me to. It is my calling. My job. Whether any human appreciates it or not. 

And, as Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, the burden is light. I love it! Sure, there are moments when I wish the laundry would end or that nobody needed me right then, but God has prepared me well for the task of raising and teaching children. He has moved in my life in ways that have built my skills for this. 

Who am I to say that the work to which God has called me is unimportant? It is vital , or He would not have called me to it. It is my work, for Him. I pray that I can do it well so that someday I will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Do not doubt that your call from God is worthy. No matter what He has called you to, it is your work for Him. Treasure the opportunity to serve Him! Do your very best, and when you can't do your best, ask God to strengthen you; He will. Keep at it, and when you don't have the energy to do that, ask God to renew your strength. Isaiah 40:31 says He will. You can trust that!

Amen and amen.

Deleting Candy Crush

 I'm sure you've heard of Candy Crush. I had, but had never played it. In an idle moment a couple of weeks ago, I downloaded it. There's been plenty of time for distractions during this pandemic, that's for sure! Especially, the past couple of weeks, since I am nursing a stress fracture in my foot. (I tried ignoring it, but that didn't work so well. It had gotten worse until I truly began to rest it a few days ago.)

Candy Crush is fun! It is inherently rewarding, and exciting, and it gives the illusion of accomplishment. I found myself focusing intently on passing level after level. I even broke my own "rule" and spent money to buy the power-ups occasionally! 

Spending money wasn't the problem, though, in the end. I can certainly see that being a problem for people, but my problem was the focus. Sometime yesterday morning, I read Philippians 4:8: "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

I had already been aware that I was spending an awful lot of time and energy on Candy Crush, but this verse pulled me back into a Biblical focus with a bang! Now, there's nothing wrong with Candy Crush, just like there's nothing wrong with technology. But we only have so many minutes in a day, and we only have so much focus and energy to spend...

I was spending so much time, focus, and energy on Candy Crush that I wasn't interacting with my family as I'd prefer. I wasn't reading my Bible as much as I usually did. The house wasn't as clean as usual (but I can't blame Candy Crush for that, that's because of my foot pain--lol). You get the idea. 

I want to be clear: It's not Candy Crush that was the problem! I could've been (and have been in the past) distracted from focusing on God by so many things. The only way to assess this is to think about what we've been focusing on instead of God and His goodness. 

So, take a moment today. Assess what you're focus is on in this pandemic. Are you obsessively watching the news? Texting with a friend? Worrying? Playing a game? Even inherently "good" activities like reading books, exercising, or cleaning can be a wrong-focus if it's replacing your God-focused activities and thinking. And God-focused activities and thinking don't have to be individual activities like reading the Bible or memorizing Scripture! Interacting with your family members can be a way of serving God, especially if you intentionally display God-honoring characteristics during the interactions. 

So I deleted Candy Crush. And intentionally started a puzzle (which by the end of the day, had drawn in several family members for a bit of time). And downloaded a new Scripture memorization app. And played a game with my kids. 

May God continue to lead me in His direction, all the days of my life.

God's Got This

 

The election is coming up. There is a lot of consternation about mail-in voting, in-person voting in a pandemic, the outcome of the election, and more. About half of the citizens are convinced that absolute anarchy will rule if the Democratic candidates are voted in as president and vice-president, and about half the citizens are convinced that absolute anarchy will rule if the Republican candidates are voted in. There is a lot of hate, anxiety, and accusation being thrown around on social media and in person.

Christian, let me remind you: God's Got This! Yes, even THIS. He is sovereign, and however our political future is shaped, He is in charge. Remember that He allowed the Babylonians to destroy Jerusalem and carry away His people! And then He redeemed them. He knows the outcome of every single thing we worry about. 

I'm not saying that we shouldn't care about what's happening in our country. The Bible tells us to be involved in the world (but not of the world). We should care and work for our beliefs and values. But we shouldn't fear what is to come! 

We can rest assured that God in in control and the outcome will be His. No matter how things turn out on Election Day. As a recent meme stated, "Don't let the elephants and the donkeys make you forget that you're a child of the lamb!" 

Knowing that God is sovereign and that whatever the outcome of the election, His will is done makes it possible for us to respond with love and concern to those whose ideas differ from ours. I know there are some citizens out there who choose not to engage with people with specific beliefs; I respect that, but it doesn't mean that we can't have basic human decency toward those people. Calling others hateful names, damaging their property or bodies, these are things that are against what the Bible expresses. We can disengage with others without being hateful. 

God's Got This. However the election turns out, God is in control and we can trust Him to take the outcome and somehow make it His. 

What I Have Gained...

 A comment from an atheist friend really struck me; they referred to a "pretend god" and "wishful thinking" as they mentioned faith. I didn't confront them about their thoughts (we've had that conversation before), but it really got me thinking. I remember being asked by a non-Christian friend a long time ago, "Don't you see what you're missing?" They meant that my faith was keeping me from having "good" things. At the time, I strongly considered they were right. In fact, that was the beginning of my walk away from God for a couple of decades. Thankfully, God is the one who holds us together, not me. He kept his hold on me through those lost years and pulled me back to Himself over time.

What am I losing by having faith? That's what those unbelieving friends are focused on. I was losing out on having fun, on rational thought, on reality! The trap of "missing out" has led many young Christians astray, like it did me. 

Today, when I think about what I'm losing through my faith, different things come to mind. Through faith, I have lost fear, anxiety, aimlessness, anger, unforgiveness, and so much more. I remember when I first started back to church, I felt like an imposter, but God kept urging me to come back. I have gained so very much because I listened to God's call.

Far more important than I have "lost" through my faith in Jesus Christ, is what I have gained. I think the list of fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 is an incredible list of what Christians gain through faith! Indeed, I have gained love beyond all measure. From my husband, from the family that God has created for us, from fellow Christians here in Dulce and elsewhere. 

My joy surpasses all understanding. In the midst of terrible circumstances, I have maintained my Christian joy. Even when I am struggling against the depression which has followed me for most of my life, I feel joy! It's deep and free-flowing in my spirit. 

And peace. There is such peace in my life these days...perhaps I feel it greatly because my life prior to returning to faith was so very anxiety-ridden. God's peace fills my heart and mind; I rarely experience any anxiety or fear anymore. Peace is precious.

I am in great need of patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control as I raise children in my late 50s. I am a much better parent than I was in my 20s and 30s. I attribute my ability to keep my cool to God's work in my heart. Each day as school begins, I pray for patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and wisdom. These gifts from God have been consistently mine as I homeschool.

I thank God for the faith he has given me. When I wander, He pulls me back. When I feel weak in my faith, He claims me. I am blessed beyond measure.

I have "lost" nothing through faith. I have gained much! I pray that as you consider your situation in life, you see much gained by faith as well. If you do not have faith, or if you don't see the gain from faith, pray that God would open your eyes and heart to His reality. It is amazing!

Six Months...Why We are Still Staying Home:

Our family formally started self-quarantining due to COVID-19 on March 10, six months ago today. I wrote about our reasons for self-quarantining the next day. In that post, I estimated that we would be self-quarantining for a couple of weeks and then reassessing. We have reassessed continually for the past six months and each time, we agree that we should continue to stay at home except for essential outings.

Six months in, and I want to address two questions:

     1. How are we doing??

     2. Why are we still self-quarantining??

 Our family is doing great! We have entertained ourselves quite successfully through the pandemic. In June, when our town celebration usually happens, we held our own mini-carnival, complete with homemade funnel cakes and snow cones. In July, we celebrated the Fourth with a backyard waterslide, a shaving cream war, and paint fireworks (there being a ban on all fires and fireworks due to fire danger).

We have learned bike tricks on the driveway, taken several socially-distanced kayak trips, and gone hiking. We have gotten confident in taking the children to a state park just off the reservation where we can kayak and hike without encountering anyone close-up. The kids have gotten good at wearing their masks around their necks or attached to their hats so they can flip them on in a second or two.
 Our backyard ninja line has gotten lots of use, as have our swings and zip line. We really have used this quieter time to spend quality time with our family.





So why are we still self-quarantining? 

Because, really, nothing has changed since March. We are still facing a virus for which almost no one has immunity. The CDC estimates that ten times as many people have had COVID19 as the official positive count. So, as we are officially just over 6,000,000 positive cases, probably 60,000,000 people in the US have had coronavirus. That still leaves approximately 268,000,000 vulnerable people. Yes, really.

We've had about 190,000 deaths from COVID19 in the US. That's about a 0.3% death rate if we use the total estimated case count (60,000,000). Hopefully, as we learn more about how to treat this disease, the death rate will drop. Even so, I don't want to be among the statistics, nor do I want my family among them.

So, we are self-quarantining to protect the hospital systems that serve our area. We are self-quarantining to avoid being a transmission route to our family and our community. We are self-quarantining to be part of the solution.

We are, however, expanding our horizons a bit as time goes on. The hiking and kayaking mentioned above are things we didn't do in the early spring. We have taken the kids to the zoo (COVID-safe practices in place) recently. We even picked up fast food yesterday for the first time! We are simply adding safety measures to these activities: mask-wearing, hand-sanitizing, etc.

We aren't, though, traveling to see our extended families at this time. We miss them and love them a lot! But we don't want to bring this disease to our 80+ year old parents, nor do we want to contract it from our less-quarantined grandchildren. So for now, we are mostly staying home. And we don't regret it a bit!