Six Months...Why We are Still Staying Home:

Our family formally started self-quarantining due to COVID-19 on March 10, six months ago today. I wrote about our reasons for self-quarantining the next day. In that post, I estimated that we would be self-quarantining for a couple of weeks and then reassessing. We have reassessed continually for the past six months and each time, we agree that we should continue to stay at home except for essential outings.

Six months in, and I want to address two questions:

     1. How are we doing??

     2. Why are we still self-quarantining??

 Our family is doing great! We have entertained ourselves quite successfully through the pandemic. In June, when our town celebration usually happens, we held our own mini-carnival, complete with homemade funnel cakes and snow cones. In July, we celebrated the Fourth with a backyard waterslide, a shaving cream war, and paint fireworks (there being a ban on all fires and fireworks due to fire danger).

We have learned bike tricks on the driveway, taken several socially-distanced kayak trips, and gone hiking. We have gotten confident in taking the children to a state park just off the reservation where we can kayak and hike without encountering anyone close-up. The kids have gotten good at wearing their masks around their necks or attached to their hats so they can flip them on in a second or two.
 Our backyard ninja line has gotten lots of use, as have our swings and zip line. We really have used this quieter time to spend quality time with our family.





So why are we still self-quarantining? 

Because, really, nothing has changed since March. We are still facing a virus for which almost no one has immunity. The CDC estimates that ten times as many people have had COVID19 as the official positive count. So, as we are officially just over 6,000,000 positive cases, probably 60,000,000 people in the US have had coronavirus. That still leaves approximately 268,000,000 vulnerable people. Yes, really.

We've had about 190,000 deaths from COVID19 in the US. That's about a 0.3% death rate if we use the total estimated case count (60,000,000). Hopefully, as we learn more about how to treat this disease, the death rate will drop. Even so, I don't want to be among the statistics, nor do I want my family among them.

So, we are self-quarantining to protect the hospital systems that serve our area. We are self-quarantining to avoid being a transmission route to our family and our community. We are self-quarantining to be part of the solution.

We are, however, expanding our horizons a bit as time goes on. The hiking and kayaking mentioned above are things we didn't do in the early spring. We have taken the kids to the zoo (COVID-safe practices in place) recently. We even picked up fast food yesterday for the first time! We are simply adding safety measures to these activities: mask-wearing, hand-sanitizing, etc.

We aren't, though, traveling to see our extended families at this time. We miss them and love them a lot! But we don't want to bring this disease to our 80+ year old parents, nor do we want to contract it from our less-quarantined grandchildren. So for now, we are mostly staying home. And we don't regret it a bit!

Predictable, Perfunctory, or Profound?

The Christian life is a journey. We are not in the same place as our friends, family, or Christian brothers and sisters. But we are all on the journey, and we can all  benefit from asking this question of our Christian habits, our Christian practices, our Christian motion: Is this predictable, perfunctory, or profound?

It's really easy to let prayer, church, Bible-reading, and other Christian habits turn into superficial practices. I am reading the Bible online with a Bible-reading plan that is supposed to keep me on track. I like the Bible-reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app, and I've been reading the plan for two and a half years. I will be done reading the entire Bible by the beginning of 2021.

Sounds good, right?

Except....

I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was speeding through the Bible reading to get done. My goal was to finish for the day. I wanted to check it off my list. My reading of God's Word, the Word of God Himself, had turned into a perfunctory task to complete before my day began. Not the way to treat God's Holy Word.

Prayer is another of my daily Christian practices. I pray with my kids. I pray with my whole family. I pray with my husband. I pray by myself. We've been trying to encourage our kids to think about what they are praying. Not to simply repeat their typical, "Thank-you-God-for-the-food. Hope-we-have-a-wonderful-day." It's easy to let our prayers become predictable, repetitive, and thought-less. Not the way to talk to our Holy God, our Lord and Savior.


Church in the time of a pandemic is an interesting proposition. It isn't very predictable, is it? My husband purposefully keeps his preaching from being perfunctory, but as a listener, it is easy to let the words go into one ear and out the other. The same thing is true of Christian music, it's easy to let the music play away without listening to the depth of the words. Without engaging. Without processing.

I've been mulling my own Christian practices and habits lately (obviously). I've tried a few different things to wake myself up to the words of the songs, the sermons, and the Word. Sometimes, my techniques helped...sometimes they didn't. I found one thing that did make a difference, though.

Every.

Single.

Time.

That was prayer, asking God to make this experience profound. I just ask God to take my prayer time and make it meaningful. I pray that the online church service will change me to be more like Jesus. I pray that my reading of the Bible would affect my heart, my life. I lift up my desire for this experience to be more than predictable and perfunctory! I ask God to use my time to bring me profound change.

Try it. It's amazing.

Where is God in This Pandemic??!

 When bad things happen, and there have sure been a lot of them lately, it is natural for people to wonder, "And just where was God when such-and-such happened?!" This question is usually uttered with indignation, because after all, if God were around, He certainly wouldn't have allowed this!

But God does allow bad things. Clearly, many times in the Bible, God allows trouble to come to His people. In John 16:33, Jesus says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" It can't get much clearer than that: Trouble comes to God's people.

The Bible addresses the world's troubles frequently in the Psalms and elsewhere. For example, Psalm 10:1 asks, "Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" But at the end of the same Psalm (verses 17-18) the Psalmist ends with, "You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed..."

So, if God is here during this pandemic, why can't we see Him? There is so much hate and anger and name-calling, etc. Where is God??!!


Where. Is. God.


He is in the hands and feet of those who are helping.


God is in the congregation of Connections Church in the Denver, CO, area. The people there gathered VBS materials for us and shipped them to us. They provided snacks, lessons, crafts, and more to the children and youth here in Dulce last month. More than 60 kids here received a VBS-to-go bag of materials  to use during our recent Stay-at-Home orders from the tribe. Our own children and teen participated and found the activities very meaningful and fun.


God is in the hearts and minds of those people here on the reservation who have donated and packed and delivered food and cleaning supplies to the Jicarilla elders and others in need. There have literally been tribal members who have volunteered hours of time to receive, organize and deliver needed supplies. There have also been donations from the state of New Mexico and others off the reservation to provide for the Jicarilla people during our lockdown. God's provision for us all has been astonishing!


God has also generously provided many masks for our family to give to our community. He has moved individuals and entire congregations to make masks for donation to the Jicarilla Apache people. We are even receiving some individually wrapped disposable masks to put into the boxes for elders and others, as well as for visitors to our home who prefer disposable masks. We continue to provide food for anyone who asks at our door. Being able to give masks to these folks adds a measure of safety for us and them.

No matter where we look, there are people helping and serving in the name of Jesus. That's where God is in this pandemic. Right there. Look around to see the work that Jesus is inspiring and directing. And if you don't see anybody helping and serving, look for a way you could help or serve.

Be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world of pandemic.

Loneliness in a Pandemic

With three kids in the house, I rarely feel lonely. Their antics keep me involved in many activities each day, and I love it! We've been home with very few exceptions since March 10, 2020. 144 days with almost zero alone-time...I haven't felt lonely much.

But I've been noticing in my newsfeed on Facebook that a lot of people are feeling lonely. And I have to admit that I've been craving some friend-time that I'm missing.

Whether you're alone at home or in a crowded household, loneliness can creep in. Or a craving for a specific type of connection. I love my kids! And I am really missing my friends and family. We're all getting weary of the caution with which we are living right now.

The other day, I found myself giving our teenager some advice I received from my mom many years ago: If you need a friend, look for someone who needs a friend.

I think the same advice goes for loneliness in a pandemic: If you feel lonely, look for someone else who needs connection. 

Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, so look for "the least of these." Think of the widows you know. Those alone in their homes. Those afraid of the coronavirus. Those single adults who are raising children in a pandemic alone. Those ill with COVID-19. Look around and find those who are in need of connection.

Then connect. Call them. Write a letter. Make an art project and send it to them. Send them some popcorn or a puzzle made from a picture of you together. Connect.

And connect with Jesus. The Bible says "God is with us" at least sixteen times (depending on translation, and I don't claim to have found each example)!  “God is with you in everything you do."  Genesis 21:22b  "The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress." Psalm 46:7

There is never a time when God is not with us! Even if all your human connections are absent for the moment, there is always God. He is our strength and refuge. He is a very present help in times of trouble. He will never fail us!

So if you're feeling lonely, reach out to the Rock of our Salvation! Reach out to your loved ones! Reach out to your neighbors! You will conquer the loneliness of a pandemic for many if you do.

Spinning

Everywhere I look these days, it seems like things are spinning out of control. Coronavirus. Masks/No Masks. Racial Justice. So many people are so loud. So convinced that they alone are right. So determined to force the opinions to which they so strongly adhere.

I've been spinning a lot lately, too. Literally. For whatever reason, mild vertigo has become my companion. I hate it. I hate standing up to a world that is spinning, in which I have no balance! My balance has been affected greatly, and it's awful.

My walk this morning was cut short due to the spinning of my world. I despise not being able to keep my body in good working shape. A decade ago, I swam a couple miles, rode my bike several miles, and walked a couple of miles every day. My body felt strong and competent. Not anymore.

In all of this spinning, all of these things outside my control, I know I am not alone. I know others have worse physical conditions. I know others are puzzling their way through our chaotic world. I know that reality is spinning in so many unexpected ways. It's getting us all off-balance.

So what do we do? How do we manage these chaotic out-of-control events. How do we stay balanced in an ever-spinning world? Are we to simply fall down?

Well, this morning when I stood up too fast for my vertigo, I started to fall. Then I reached out to find something stable, something still. I found a coffee table with my hands and quickly sat down on it. I simply sat there until the chaos in my vestibular system settled down and I wasn't dizzy anymore.

So, Christian, what should you do to regain your balance? When the world is whirling uncontrollably with COVID, opinions, violence, or fear, what can you do?

Hold fast to your foundation. Reach out to your faith: pray, read your Bible, listen to Christian music, talk with your pastor or a trusted Christian sister. When you reach for something stable, you can rest in it for long enough to regain your balance. After you rest, the chaos will be more manageable.

This world is spinning at an incredible rate, with much confusing noise. Regain your balance. Stop. Slow. Reach for trusted faith resources. Rest.

Rest.

Amen.

Sonflowers

The sunflowers are blooming in New Mexico. These sunflowers are slightly different from the Midwest's sunflowers. In the Midwest, sunflowers are tall, straight, and have one giant bloom on top. In the Southwest, sunflowers grow on lower, multi-stemmed plants with multiple blooms. The Jicarilla say that the height of the sunflowers equals the height of the snow in the upcoming winter.

One thing that all the sunflowers I've ever seen do is to turn their blossoms toward the sun throughout the day. In the morning, the blossoms all face east; in the evening, west. It's amazing to watch a field of sunflowers on time lapse (here)!

As we've proceeded through this pandemic and racial upheaval in the past few months, I've often wondered what good I can do in this situation. And sometimes, I've been downhearted, as I'm sure most of you have, also.

On yesterday's morning walk, I saw the first sunflower blooms and they made me smile. They were bent to the sun, leaning into that warmth and energy with all their being. The buds were just splitting on some of the flowers, but even they were reaching for the sun.

Christians, this is what we need to do in this troubled time. And in every time. Lean into the Son. Reach toward Jesus with all your being. Soak up His energy, His warmth, His love, His guidance. Read His word. Sing songs to praise Him. Look Sonward.

Be a Sonflower.

High Stakes

Most of you know that our family was built by God. He has a wonderful sense of humor! When we married, we were empty nesters in our late 40s and early 50s. We didn't expect to raise any more children. We were done being in-house parents.

Then came a phone call from our granddaughter's social worker. (We didn't even know she had one!) The social worker asked us to consider taking our 2 year old granddaughter as a foster child, with the possibility of adopting her. We felt too old. We were assured we were not. We felt too busy, but we weren't.

We prayed. She came. She stayed. Forever. It's been a delight to raise her to her teen years! We look forward to the short time we have left with her in our home as a minor. She is a wonderful young adult, and I love the fact that I get to be her grandma-mom forever!

About three years ago, our granddaughter was getting old enough we could leave her alone for short periods of time. It was such a joy to be able to go out running and walking together as a couple! We relished the growing independence for her and for us.

Then came a phone call. Asking us if we would take two tiny Apache boys "for a few days" so that the social worker here could find a Jicarilla family to take them longer term. We reminded the social worker that we were white. They said it's okay. We reminded the social worker that we were old (in our 50s for real, now). They said it was fine.

We prayed. They came. They stayed. Forever. We did not anticipate raising kids more than 50 years younger than we are, but God has called us to this. He will give us the endurance and wisdom to do it for Him.

Today, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, with the tribe having a more than 300% increase in cases in the past couple of weeks, the tribal president sent out a memo to the community. In it, the consequences for Native Americans breaking the health orders was laid out. And so were the consequences for Non-Native Americans (us, minus the boys): Immediate expulsion from the reservation.

I totally agree with these consequences. The Jicarilla Apache have suffered from diseases brought by outsiders, and they deserve to protect their people and their land. I have no hesitations about their rights or reasons to make the consequences so dire. And I intend to follow every letter of this order.

But my heart is in my stomach because the stakes are so very high. If we disobey the health orders, even accidentally, the tribe has every right to remove us from their land. We have heard stories of occasional white people getting kicked off the rez. We have always been law-abiding guests of the Jicarilla, recognizing our status as guests.

The knots in my stomach come from what would happen to the boys, now 5 and 7, if we were excluded from the reservation. They are technically wards of the court (the Jicarilla court), and if we were told to leave, it would most likely be without the boys. Requiring them to move to yet another home. Which we've promised we would not do to them, if it is within our power.

High Stakes.

But not as high as the stakes in having faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Those are forever high stakes. Those are eternal high stakes. If my stomach is in knots at the thought of messing up and having to leave two of our children behind, my stomach should be in complete flip-flops when I consider my faith in Jesus Christ, or my children's faith in Jesus Christ.

But my stomach isn't flip-flopping over faith. Is it because I don't care???

No! Absolutely not. I care very much. But, while following the health orders on the reservation is something I have to do on my own (and my family has to do each on his/her own), faith is a gift of God. Look at Ephesians 2:8! "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

God is doing the heavy-lifting in faith. He gives faith to me. I can depend on him. His faithfulness to me is eternal and supreme. There is no need for anxiety about faith. About grace. About whether I'm measuring up.

Thank God!