A New Season

You may have  noticed that I have written less in the past few months. You may also have noticed that I have written almost nothing about stained glass in the past couple of years. Life has changed quite a bit; I think of it as a new season of my life.

This season has little time for glass. I've been homeschooling our 10 yr old since she was four. As she has gotten older, it takes more and more time to get through all the subjects she needs to get learn. In addition, I'm helping with the ministry here in Dulce. Each week, I mow for about 6 hours, spend 2-4 hours in our children's ministry, and teach 11 students science for 4 hours.

This coming summer, we are hosting at least four mission groups for about a week each. We love mission groups and are deeply grateful for the work they accomplish; it's just busy! And it seems the longer we're here in Dulce, the more groups we host. This is awesome and positive, but busy.

In addition, I am now full-time homeschooling four Jicarilla children in addition to our own daughter. It's good. It's meaningful. It's important, and I love it. And it's busy.

A few months back, our family was preparing to adopt three of our daughter's birth siblings. It looked like they were in need of a permanent home, and we were adjusting our lives to include a 4 1/2 year old, a 3 1/2 year old, and a 10 month old. It turned out that they were able to return home safely, and we are delighted about that. But while we were in the process of preparing for them, I decided that my glass studio, which wasn't being used much at all, could be given to someone to make room for extra children.

I asked some friends if they knew of anyone who wanted to do stained glass, especially someone who would honor God in their work, and I met a man who wanted to expand his wood-working to include glass-work. He is a Christian, and he was ecstatic to have a ready-made glass studio. So, when we realized we weren't going to expand our family, I prayed about it and decided to go ahead with the bequeathing of the studio. My new friend insisted on paying me, and it turned out that my daughter and I needed to make an emergency trip to Minnesota to help my parents after surgeries. Without that money, we couldn't have afforded to make the trip. God provides.

So, the bottom line is: I am no longer a glass artist. And that's more than okay with me. I have many, many other interests and pulls on my time. I loved being a glass artist in its season, but I am very excited to have the space for a reading nook. My students and I need a little more space for our daily silent reading!

I have already legally closed my glass business and taken down my website. I will be closing my Facebook page for A Glimpse of Grace within the week. If you want to follow my life as a missionary, teacher, kayaker, Christian, mom... Please "Follow" me on my blog if you're not my FB friend. I will continue to blog!

I thank you for your loving support and interest in this blog and my glass work. I look forward to this season of my life, too. May God bless you in every way.

Ministry on the Rez

Did you ever wonder what ministry looks like in Dulce, NM?

I can guarantee that it often doesn't look much like ministry in many places I've attended church. Sure, some things are the same: Sunday services, children's programs, the occasional wedding, hospital visitations, and funerals. My role, as pastor's wife, includes parts in some of those events. I help lead the children's programs and sometimes read Scripture or greet on Sundays.

However, much of what happens in Dulce is quite different from how I've seen ministry in other places. A good example of this kind of ministry happened a few weeks ago. It started with a knock on the back door while my husband was away...

I stopped my lesson plan preparations and went to the door. Seeing a man who occasionally stops by for some food, often while intoxicated, I grabbed my house keys and told my 10 year old, "I'm going out to talk to someone. I'm locking the door." I didn't lock the door because I'm afraid of this man; I locked the door because I am protective of our daughter. Alcohol affects decision-making, and I never want her to pay the price for my choices.

The man did want something to eat, so I left him on our comfortable patio with shade and a bench and came back inside to make some sandwiches. I told my daughter that I was making a lunch for this man, and she pitched in to peel some carrots. I left her back inside while I took a plate out to our visitor.

I pulled out a lawn chair and sat opposite the man after I handed him the plate. He said, "You're going to sit here with me? You don't have to." After reassuring him that I indeed wanted to sit with him, he made comments about how nice I was. I tried turned his thoughts to why I chose to sit with him: This is what Jesus tells us to do in the Bible. Feed the hungry. Visit the prisoner. Touch the untouchable. I sat with him because it is what Jesus wants me to do, and I am being changed by Jesus every day. It was not a burden to sit with the man and talk to him while he ate.

And that is the biggest experience I've had with ministry on the Rez:  I  am being changed. I didn't begrudge the two hours I spent talking with this man. I don't sit with my lonely elderly friend wishing I were somewhere else or that I could extract myself quickly. I don't bemoan my commitment to the time our children's program fills.  Jesus is changing my heart, opening my life to service that I never expected.

During those two hours on the back patio with this intoxicated man, we spoke of the Bible (He knows a lot about Scripture!), his life choices (He knows that he could do so much more.), and death (He was grieving the loss of a friend.). I don't know if those two hours made any difference to his eternal state, but I know they made a difference to mine. Christ used my humble sandwiches and time to serve the needs of another, and blessed me in the process. I pray that He will continue to work in my life to serve others here in Dulce.

Praise God!

Fear Not.

I haven't written much in the past 6 weeks. I have thought very much, but I haven't written much. That's because I haven't had a clue of what to say. What do you say about a government that invents "alternative facts"? What do you say to a populace in which many believe those facts? What do you say when you're a Christian, one of the categories of people counted upon as supporters of this crazy, press-blocking, twittering government?

It's mucky out there these days!

I realize one of the problems I have in responding is that I have two lenses to look through that affect what I think and want to say: I am a proud American citizen, and I am a Bible-believing Christian. Sometimes, the two lenses are in alignment; sometimes they're not. In this particular case, there is no conflict for me: Donald Trump's America offends me as an American and as a Christian.

As an American, I agree with Rep. Darrell Issa in calling for an independent special prosecutor to investigate the Trump Administration's ties to, and vulnerability to, Russia. I cry out, as an American, about the blocking of certain credentialed reporters' access to a presidential news conference, seemingly because of their criticism of President Trump.

America has long been a land of immigrants. In light of the humanitarian crises in several Middle Eastern countries, including Syria, my American roots demand the acceptance and succor of refugees. Certainly, we want security vetting of those we accept, but accept them we should.

I believe that President Trump must account for his potential conflicts of interest. Nothing in his past or his present ethics makes me trust that he will act for the benefit of the American people instead of his own economic gain, and there are clearly perceived conflicts of interest to account for. He should be transparent and open, releasing his tax returns, creating a blind trust, and purposefully distancing himself from his business empire.

And as a Christian? How do I speak as a Christian?

In favor of the refugee and the oppressed, because Christ calls us to care for "the least of these."

In favor of praying for our government, even if it was not our preference at the election, because we are called to pray for our leaders in 1 Timothy 2:1-2.

And, as I was reminded of this morning by a lifelong Christian friend, I need to remember to "Fear Not."

All is in God's hands. Even Trump and his twisted presidency. Over 360 times in the Bible, God reassures us that we need not fear. No matter what the circumstances of our lives. In good times and bad. In security and insecurity.

Fear Not, America. Resist, yes. But don't be afraid. This is in God's hands. Fight for truth. Fight for the refugee and the oppressed. Stand up for Right. But do not be afraid.



P.S. On a totally different piece of this puzzle, I urge you to inform yourself regarding the current events in our country. Read from the Right. Read from the Left. Don't believe the veracity of anything until you have confirmed the facts. Go to the primary sources, as I have told my students for 3 decades. Read what the people involved are saying, on both sides. Try to find objective news sources, which is extremely difficult right now. But inform yourself.

Representative Sean Duffy

On Tuesday, February 7, 2017, Representative Sean Duffy (R-Wis) was interviewed by CNN's Alisyn Camerota. The subject of the interview was the White House's claim that the media were intentionally refusing to cover terrorist attacks. The interview can be watched in part here. I watched the video because I was interested in hearing the Republican view on this topic. I'd already read an article from the Left. I am intentionally trying to listen to "both sides" of issues, and I'm finding it very interesting.

This interview, though, took a turn that horrified me. Representative Duffy insisted that Islamic Extremist Terrorism was more valid, more important, more real than any other threat we Americans face. He argued this despite the interviewer's attempts to bring his attention to White Supremacist Terrorism, like the attack on a mosque in Quebec City last week.

Rep Sean Duffy (R-Wisconsin) actually said (at 1:44 on the video, about the attack on the Charleston church that left 6 Black men and women dead), “Look at the good things that came from it! Nikki Haley took down the Confederate flag; that was great!”

Seriously, Rep Duffy? You can look at the taking down of the Confederate flag like the attack and the 9 deaths were worth it?  I can’t begin to fathom the depth of callous disregard for the life of African Americans that it takes to think that.

“There’s no constant threat that goes through these attacks (attacks from White Extremists)," Rep. Duffy insisted.

Um… no constant threat if you’re White. I am appalled at the White Privilege Duffy enjoys and ignores to be able to say there is no constant threat from White Supremacists’ attacks. Ask my African American daughter if she feels a constant threat. Ask her friend Phil Castillo… Oh, but you can’t because he’s dead. Ask his girlfriend. Ask his children. Ask any parent of a Black teenage male. Ask the congregation of Hopewell Missionary Baptist Church in Mississippi. Ask the families of the nine victims in Charleston, WV.

It is nearly impossible to find unbiased news right now, so I am trying to read and listen to and watch primary sources. This is what I encourage my students to do in order to discern what is true; take the filters away and try to interpret the events themselves. So I watched the interview myself. I urge you to do the same. 

For me, the bottom line in this interview was that Representative Sean Duffy (R) from Wisconsin, clearly established that he has no understanding of the threat of White Supremacy, that he holds no affinity for his African American neighbors, and that he does not recognize his own White Privilege.

Wake up, Rep. Duffy. We, the People, are watching. Listening. Evaluating. And we will be voting. 

Where Does A Christian Stand?

Wow. What a couple of days in our country! We saw the end of one presidency, the beginning of another, and a day filled with protests around the world. There were also riots, big changes to whitehouse.gov, and lots of insults hurled on social media.

Where does a Christian stand in these times? I imagine that's a question that has been asked by many Christians of themselves in many times of history and in many places around the world. I see some on the Left accusing all Christians of being short-sighted, mean-hearted, and narrow-minded. I see some on the Right accusing the protesters of betraying their faith. And I've seen many faithful Christians unhappy about being excluded from the Women's March due to not being "pro-life."

Where does a Christian stand?

I know without a doubt that I am to pray for our leaders. The Bible states in 1 Timothy 2:1-2: "I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people-- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." At this moment in history, the elected leaders of America are distasteful to me, But the kings of New Testament times were actively hostile to the Jews and Christians, and Timothy told people to pray for them. So, I will pray for Donald Trump and Michael Pence. I urge you to do so, as well.

I also know that Jesus expects Christians to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome strangers, clothe the naked, and visit the sick/imprisoned. (Matthew 25:31-46) Therefore, I will continue to work for the oppressed, the poor, the downtrodden. Jesus says to do this. He doesn't ask whether the woman at the well (John 4:4-26) is open to His teaching or is in good standing with her local synagogue; He simply talks to her. She doesn't have to meet some standard before He will reach out to her.

I will not pre-select those who are worthy of my help, my attention, or my compassion. Jesus refers to "the least of these," meaning the most unimportant, the least powerful, those rejected by the establishment. Our family resides on the Jicarilla Apache Nation, one of the many Native Nations in this country who struggle to be heard. My friends here have myriad sorrows, corporately and individually. I will continue to bring the hope of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, to them. I will continue to teach my students with equality, fairness, and excellence.

As for the politics of gender, orientation, marriage, protecting the unborn, my religious beliefs do not affect what should be true in a secular democracy: Each person should be able to make a choice to sin or not to sin. My religion should not be forced upon a secular nation. And as I have said before, I do not want to live in a theocracy because my beliefs will not necessarily align with the leaders' beliefs. I believe we should each be free to worship (or not) as we see fit.

Even though I am clearly a Christian, I do not see that my beliefs (or anyone else's) should be the law of the land. If you or I believe that abortion is a sin, you or I can fight to provide alternatives to abortion, to support families unready to raise a child, and to protect children from abuse. If I (or you) believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, I (or you) can participate in a church that shares that belief. We can educate our children with our own values. We can even choose to influence them more by homeschooling or by having our children attend a private school. If we are not in a position to accomplish that, we can reach out for scholarships or assistance.

Where does a Christian stand in these days?

Against violence. For the unheard.

That's my answer today. I will remain vigilant, watching for abuses. I will remain hopeful, expecting good. I will remain prayerful, praying for wisdom and peace. I will remain active, working for those things in which I believe. I pray you will do the same.

willpower.

Over time, I have gotten pretty good at laying my burdens at the foot of the cross. I have laid my overwhelming fears, my traumatic past, and my wanderings there.

Or so I think sometimes. In reality, some of those things have been laid down, for sure, but I'm also pretty sure I didn't lay them down. My willpower is too weak.  I do not claim any success in this; God has taken them from me in my weakness.

There is no doubt that I am living without the fears, the trauma, and their legacy. My life is indeed redeemed! But not by me, by God. My willpower is much too weak.

I know this because I can't lay down my irritability, my self-centeredness, my weak faith. I've tried. I've even improved. But my willpower will never be strong enough. It's not even strong enough to make me get up early in the morning to pray and read the Bible!

It's when we rely on our own willpower that we fail. Eventually. Every. Time. Instead, we need to rely on His Will.

God's Will. Not our willpower. I began living without fear when I said to God, "Please take this fear away from me. I cannot get rid of it!" The "power of positive thinking" had taken me nowhere. In my weakness, He spoke redemption. I began to live, day by day, in less and less fear. I relied upon God more and more as I healed. 

Yes, I said to God, "Take this trauma away from me! Let me not live in it any longer!" But even more, I said, "God, help me to want to live without identifying as a victim. Work inside me to make Your Will my truth because my willpower is too weak to even want it." Who would I be once I wasn't defined by the past trauma in my life?

Turns out, I am defined as a child of the One True King! Jesus, my Lord and Savior, is working in me to remake me in His image. Not because my willpower is so great, and I am competent to change, but because I am seeking His Will, in His power and grace. 

I am still working to lay burdens at the foot of the cross, but I'm starting with this: "Almighty God, work in me to make me want Your Will. I am so weak that I can't even really want it without Your action." I am finding that He is working in me to make me want more and more of  His Will. Praise God!

Amen.

A Slave of Fear

Over Thanksgiving, our family traveled to visit one of our children and two of our grandchildren. We had a wonderful visit: Playing at the zoo and the beach, Hiking up a small mountain, and Preparing the Thanksgiving meal together. It was a time of creating memories and enjoying each others' company. I pray that you had similar opportunities over Thanksgiving; family is such a blessing!


We had one other amazing experience while away from home: We worshiped together at their church. Now, it's always delightful to worship with my pastor husband; we don't get the opportunity very often! But this service touched me deeply. The Bible was preached strongly and effectively. Praise music filled the air to begin the service. In particular, "No Longer Slaves" by David and Helser touched my heart. The lines from the song that brought tears to my eyes were, "I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God."

You see, I was a slave to fear for much of my life. That happens when a child is raised in a home with an abusive parent. My fears blossomed, even after a divorce which freed me from physical abuse, because my remaining parent was severely depressed. She even attempted suicide when I was nine years old. It wasn't explained to me because all the adults thought I didn't know, but I did. And I spent the rest of my childhood fearing to do anything that would upset my mom because then she might kill herself, and I would have to go live with my dad.

This was totally unhealthy, as I'm sure you recognize. And since no one knew my fears, no one could reassure me. When my mom remarried, my fears eased but didn't disappear entirely. I went off to college, still deeply afraid to make waves of any kind. This no longer made any rational sense, but the patterns that we develop as children are hard to break.

I ended up dating and then marrying a controlling, arrogant man. It felt right to me because I was so afraid of making mistakes. He knew what was right, right? Well, as it turned out, not so much. He ended up sexually abusing at least one of our children. Thankfully, I didn't listen to my then-husband's counsel about keeping the secret in the family. I knew better. I reported him; he went to jail. We got divorced.

And still, I was afraid. My faith was growing, but my fear wasn't diminishing. I was afraid of being alone, afraid of changing things, afraid of making decisions that might upset someone else. Finally, I began to ask God to remove my fears. After all, His Word says "Fear not, for I am with you" (Isaiah 41:10).

And He did. As I turned my fears over to Him, asking Him to remove them from me forever, He did. I began to turn to God and pray instead of being afraid. In the past 12 years, God has freed me! I am no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God. When I heard those words in the song last Sunday, I recognized how fully true they are for me in this season of my life. God completely redeemed my life and my soul, bringing me to this life full of love and peace... and no fear. A life where I am serving Him with joy and thanksgiving.

Thank you, God, for this gift of redemption.

Amen.